TEAM SWITZERLAND <3

BEST. MOVIE. EVER
i don't wanna spoil it for anyone, but I'm still high off of the movie lmao
it was wonderful ily Tangerine
amd im gonna stop writing now because ill start givin shit away!>

H E L L O

.. I have literally abandoned you my dear blog
Many many many things have gone down since my last entry
Things that should have made me happier, things that would've usually bothered me
and things that i NEVER expected
I cant believe that we have 1 more month left of 2009!
This year has definitely been a roller coaster
From growing up, breaking up, getting back, loosing as well as gaining, reminiscing on the "Good ol days" and then trying to forget them altogether because that's all they will ever be good OLD days..
Another thing that still hasn't fully sinked in is.. I LIVE ALONE, i live ALONE
smh responsibility can be very over whelming, it can either make you or brake you..

Trying to continue blogging as i did before, still a working progress lol
Until next time..

Just cuz im DADDY =]

I want you
When the sun comes up, I wanna make you mine, I wanna make it count
I want you
I wanna take you home, I wanna make it known, I wanna take you on
I want you
Let me say it again, I wanna say it again, but let me say it again
I want you
I want ya more than a friend
I'm gonna gonna make you mine!

Hay mijaaaa

There are so many more pics of us together but theyre hard to reach at the moment lol.


IMY Sooooooo muchhhh
i will always have time for tuna fish samwiches and ice tea.
Oh sea hellooo <3
Im taking you out on a date! I PROMISE =]
A whole day rooming around this city EATING EVRYTHING IN SIGHT Is def what we need!

How long has it really been?

Ohhh my darling blog!! It has been too long indeed. Is it possible to have so much to say but then again not say much at all lol, I'm sooooo lazy that even though i say to myself "I'm going to post something today" i usually don't... idk..
A lot has happened over the past weeks..and if i wasn't so damn lazy then i would've posted all the pictures and etc.. but since i AM A LAZY ASS i don't think i will lol
Lets just say.. I'm some what pretending to be doing something i really am not doing, forced to grow up a little too quickly, have realized that i can count my true friends in one hand, too scared to be excited about shit that hasn't even happened ( but omg i hope it does lol ), admitting that i have relapsed and that my addiction to Robert Pattinson is getting WAYYY outta hand lol, oh and lately Ive been feeling the worst of the worst of feelings.. UNWANTED... maybe I'm being too hasty here.. but I'm too lazy to even think of a new word.. i might be wrong and a less depressing word can be used but at the end it all falls under that category.

I just wanna be ME

Is that so hard to ask? i feel like its becoming impossible. I'm in a place in time where every ones judgements count, every ones opinions are heard ( except for mine of course) every one can shout every one can point and every one can scream. but in the end what about ME? I'm not asking for a million dollars just for things to make more sense maybe? Jeez! i wanna be hugged when i need it, kissed when i want it .....
How does that saying go.. you live you learn and then you die .. well what ever's between the learning and the dying .. that's where you'll find me right smack in the middle..
Will things ever start to make sense and stuff will just stop happening because "that's how things are suppose to be" and happen because you plan for them to turn out that way..
now that i think about it that's pretty funny.. people spent months, years, seconds, minutes doesn't matter what length of time.. they still spend it on PLANNING .. me of course I'm guilty as charged .. I'm an over analyzer, its what i do .. as to why i do it i have no idea... ughhh
I'm having one of those i hate everything and everybody kinda days.. it'll pass... i give my bipolar ass about two minutes to get over it...........
:: TWO MINUTES LATER::
Guess not

Sep. 6, 2009

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I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

• Para que quieren saber de mis traumas y criticarme ?, mejor traten de resolver los suyos.
  
  "Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."
  If only things were as simple as before when every night one bright star would hold all my wishes and i was fooled into thinking they would come true, but unfortunately reality sets in and i dont live in MontePlata anymore, there are no stars in my Sky's, and as for my wishes the world may never know.
  
  I'm lying on my stomach as i type this feening for a juicy,crunchy cheesy yummy taco & jamming to my odd play list, song playing right now Human Nature by none other than the lovely Mr. Jackson, Iron & Whine are up next followed by the entire twilight soundtrack, Robert Pattinson songs, PARAMORE ( Ily Hayley) some salsa and my all time wifey Laura Pausini ( DJ career has sadly gone down the drain )
  
  
• This is my random fact of the day, I'm convinced that Stephanie Meyer has ruined my life book wise beyond repair, i say this because i cant, i refuse to read anything but the Twilight Saga, my brain wont allow it and my eyes are blinded by those thick as brick glossy books of hers -___-There's not one day that I'm on the train and i don't see some one reading those books, today i saw 7!

3 Lemons in a cup

I'm smiling because it always seems to amaze me how over observant you are, not everyone seems to hear what i have to say, whats bothering me nor what I'm thinking about let alone actually care lol, something i thought would never mature has grown and surpassed my horizons.
-Nuff said.

What a night!

Either they were excited to see me.. or it was the liquor lmao, I'm pretty convinced it was both. The fact that they all smothered me when i got there and dead ass made me feel like a celebrity lmao. i love them all though, seriously had one of the best nights i haven't had in a WHILE hence the fact that I'm always trapped in me dungeon. It was an awesome day.. i got my first tattoo, nothing major at all, but you know i had to be gay and get a Lotus =] Fortunately i had my fatty there =] so it wasn't that bad.. in fact he was the one getting one in the first place which by the way looks H O T. But yeah AWESOME FUCKING DAY

P.S the are wayyyy more pictures im just too lazy at the moment!

LORD JESUS

Ummmm.. i almost died, NO GASH i almost fucking broke my neck from jumping up and down and screaming like a cougar when Jacob/Taylor took his shirt off. why is he still under age again?! like seriously that shit should be illegal. I must say this i cannot believe how satisfied i am with the clips i dead ass thought it wasn't gonna live up to my expectations but LORDDDD it was better than i pictured it in my head ... now lets talk about Rob.. ROBBB OH ROBBBB ohmagawd yo.. .. * getting myself together* WOW i need to improve my vocab so i can find the perfect word for him, but until then UNFUCKINGBARABLE will do lol. & Kristen.. hay dios mio Im POSITIVE shes gonna do sooooooo fucking great wayyy better than Twilight, no signs of stuttering or freakishly blinking scenes here! SUPER SUPER EXCITED & Chris Weitz smh you should start looking up a few bodyguards cuz seriously THIS SHIT LOOKS AMAZINGGGGGGGG!
OK .. I'm not even gonna write nemore I'm getting upset because fucking NOVEMBER 20 NEEDS TO HURRY THE FUCK UP!
PS ill smack the shit out of anybody who starts screaming in the theater no gas i will!

OMFG

UIYUHYDFSRSBNKLJOIYTYEEDCBN!!!!!!!!
YOOOOO I SWEAR I CREAMED IN MY PANTS WHEN I SAW THIS.
This makes me wanna skip ECLIPSE & Jump head first into Breaking Dawn, just get right to the BOMCHIKAWAWAAAAA.
*Sighs*... i would say i need a new hobby but i don't want one lmao

So since this is Twilight related along with half of my blog lmao, FYI SUPPOSEDLY KINGS OF LEON is one of the bands picked for the New Moon soundtrack, nothing official JUST A RUMOR.. but if this is true i think I'm gonna carry EXTRA panties to the premier just cuz the lead singer from Kings Of Leon is like ... AMAZING

Nuff said

AHHHHHHH!

I SWEAR TO GAAAAAWWWWDDD im gonna fucking freak out when NEW MOON comes out O__o Lord knowwwwss I've got my debit card READY TO GO DADDY as soon as them babiies are available ... i cant even say it, think about it .. let alone write about it!!!!
& I'm dragging all of my bitches to it too! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I HAVE TO FORCE YOU HOES! Two people i know wont have any second thoughts on going would be CARLA & JAGIE all i gotta do is pull out a Jacob poster (watch them fight over it for a few minutes) and the deed is done!!!

Disappointment at it's best

I hate it when you think that you can play me for a sucker, pero el unico pendejo aqui eres tu. Why the fuck do people feel the need to constantly LIE just out of curiosity, like why do you do it? Time and Time again i have put it out there that i don't go well with liars, we don't accommodate very well you see, i try and lord knows i try to see this from other perspectives other motives, but what motive can you possibly have?! It just doesn't process in my head why the fuck do you feel the need to LIEEEEE. Then people wonder why I'm so "Odiosa" why i always have that i don't give a shit attitude, well there you have it and pat yourself on the fucking back will you because you're very much correct, i don't give a flying fuck anymore, i am stubborn, and i most definitely am .. what was it you said ..oh yeah " A proud stupid bitch" thanks! Things could be sooo much easier but it infuriates me that they're turning sour, but like i said I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE.
Y como dice la cancion " El hombre es un animal que no quiere a nadie, Y haci dicen las mujeres si es verdad."

Love at first S I P <3

OK so my title is probably the corniest shit you've ever read but leave me alone with my addiction! WHY OH WHY MUST YOU BE SO DELICIOUS!??!?! That tingling { how ever you spell it} sensation is unbearable especially when you've been chilling in the freezer for a a good hour X__X <<
On a lighter note the fact that my parents are leaving monday for another vacation for 15 DAYS?!!?!??!? Man ohhhh mannnn its again UNBEARABLE
Im counting the seconds, hours, minutes days, .. etc!
i have not quite grasped the meaning of this.. I PROMISE ILL BEHAVE

http://whattheforks.wordpress.com/
I don't think I've fully expressed my love for this website... i mean these ladies make my days! anything and i mean ANYTHING twilight related you know its gonna be posted here .. like i said before UNHEALTHY ADDICTION but i loveeee ittt!
P.S
FEEL BETTER YOSHI!
VOTE OR DIE! <3

HAPPY FRIDAY!

LIFE & STYLE SHOULD STFU & DIE -__-

AHHHH MUST INDULGE HERE ONE DAY!



Unfortunately my bitch ass parents are back from their mini vaca in Ohio -__-, these 4 days didn't do me justice, i have absolutely nothing to show for them, besides a few pounds more from the Quesadillas me & Jagie feasted on at 1 am Monday night.. or was it Tuesday? lmao But neways... before i forget HAPPY BIRTHDAY to My own personal Disney character my cousin Winy!!!! aka Winy the pooh D U H. 22 years old & your still a lame I love you thoughhh! =] Any whooooo i swear to GAWDDDD i HATEEEEEEE LIFE & STYLE magazine theyre such cock suckers man! They will post anything up just to make some money, their latest issue " ITS OVER! ROBERT & K-Stew no longer a couple! " WOAH WOAH WOAH when was there ever any REAL proof that they were together in the first place?! and for that matter doesn't Kristen go out with Micheal whats his face?! WTForks?!?!? I wanna see hardcore anal proof dammit! and by anal i don't mean that literally lmao.. aside from the fact that the destroyers of my life are back i did a "little" shopping to feed my soul <3 I found the cutest vintage pieces ever!.. Brooklyn Heights has Dee best Thrift shops.. at least the only ones i know lmao.. after such a great day i would love to go sit in a place like the Tuscany Villa above and relax sipping on some Pelegrino Orange fizz reading a book ( most likely TWILIGHT LMAO! ) and just I N D U L G E... i need a VILLA in my life -__-

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down

How can you just get up and leave like this, like you dont have your whole life here, i wonder.. am i not good enough for you, have i failed my duties as a daughter that you just had to leave? Or are you just being a coward and dont wanna face that fact that things arent going to get any better once you leave, ... yup im convinced coward it is, and to think that your supposed to be setting an example for the rest of us.. SOME EXAMPLE.. running always solves everything.. NOT! But the decisions already made and you picked him, sad though cuz i couldve made you happy, not that fake smile you put up everyday to fool everybody, but a real smile, a smile that makes your cheeks hurt.... but ill still be waiting on the side lines when you realize that you've made a big mistake..

My Sister's Keeper

So in High school i had the opportunity to read one of the best books I've ever read (before Stephanie Meyer ) Jodi Picoult you are truly amazing! The movie was soo good it had me crying like a little bitch, Cameron Diaz just keeps getting better and better! This is definitely on my list of " DVDs i NEED in m life.
All in all a wonderful Thursday night!

T W I L I G H T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooooooooo i haven't posted anything up on my OBSESSION and i have a little bit tooooo much to discuss!
So my fave addicting website is WTForks?! which is like -__O UNHEALTHY ADDICTING
i love itttt they keep me updated! lmao
But yeah.. im like extremely serious when i say that when the NEW MOON tickets are available for purchase you knowww imma be on it like white on rice.
& cuz im a feen i got the US WEEKLY special collectors edition TWILIGHT issue
MIND YOU i got the very last copy the hala hala guy had on his stinky news stand =D
Andddd just cuz my brother loves me soooo much he got me the BORDERS SPECIAL EDITION TWILIGHT DVD X__X ya its over!
Did i mention ive got all of the books already.. i mean im so 2000 & late! but don't judge me!
they're neatly stacked next to my bed in a safe and secure premises lmao
OH OH OH OH and did i mention niggas is gonna start filming ECLIPSE in august?!?!??!
some people say its too early to shout victory since NEW MOON hasn't even hit the big screen pero.. SO FUCKING WHAT! I MEAN OSEA HELLLOOO HAVE YOU SEEN THAT TRAILER?! JACOB SHIRTLESS, EVOLVING WOLF & MY MAIN MAN GETTING ALL SENTIMENTAL LEAVING BELLA AND SHIT.. AND not to mention all the fans reactions to the trailer on you tube.. YEAH NOVEMBER NEEDS TO HURRY THE FUCK UP... NEW MOON PLUS THANKSGIVING .. now u try and figure out why its my favorite month!

"look after my heart, i've left it with you"

ahhhh my dear
why cant me & you just disappear for a while
get away from this chaotic world and just be me & you ;)

things are so much smoother when i have you around

.. i wonder if when our relationship matures more later on in the future will my heart still flutter

when you kiss me .. definetly will, who am i kidding!?

i am 110% that i love you more than ketchup!

Sigh... the cheese to my mac <3>

2206

This is why...

This just happened a few seconds ago lmao
you be having me on the floor man DEADASS
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:25 PM): i thought my aim was broken
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:30 PM): i was like nobody is writing
Me (11:58:30 PM): wtf
Me (11:58:34 PM): lmaooo
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:42 PM): lol
Me (11:58:46 PM): im posting this up
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:51 PM): lmao

I need a map of life!

Soo... "I'm focused man
Tell Stout to holla at me man"
Righttt, not focused enough tho, ive realized that when i put things in order like say.. make a list i get things done faster.. idk call me korny lol.. but ne who like i said i need a map for life like SERIOUSLY AGHH everything seems so easy in my head but when i try putting those thoughts into actions .. ya se cago el plan lmao
my main focus for this summer is to at least attempt to loose some excess fat lmao 25 pounds to be exact -__-, i wanna go on a picnic.. take a plane to paris and sip on some french coffee =D mmm indulgence sounds so good... ok ok im pushing it now but a nice QUIET picnic would be great, not like the dramatic seen from my bizarre "b-day suprise" dont get me wrong not that i didnt like it lol things just got I F F Y. On a lighter note .. a list will be done STARTING ... NOW... GO!

YOUTH

EROSS
Ive been randomly looking at pictures of you & sorry for gettin all sentimental sounding like mom and shit but WTH!! why are growing up so quick, its like i blinked and there you were mamis height lol, preety soon your gonna start beating my ass up! you dont even stutter anymore lol & lets not mention the fact that you dont even need my help for your hw any more =/ SNIFF SNIFF HAYYYY MIJOOO! lol ok.. let me stop, i guess what im trying to say is .. im gonna miss my CHER SINGING,VOUGIN QUEENNNN little brother lmao!A faze i thought you would never grow out of! <3>

Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.

i think.. no scratch that I'm pretty damn sure i left all in all drama back in 04, back when i had nothing more than a adolescent mind set, didn't have anything to look forward to, so i figured hey lets start some shit, but really.. at this stage i cant really see myself in that predicament, and yet i cant believe shit like this is really happening AGAIN! I'm disappointed.. & confused not really surprised tho, Ive tried to see things from all angles all perspectives but i keep coming back short why is that? it sucks that it doesn't really matter any more tho because when you say "You and your T E A M " Ive already been forced into something i never wanted 2 be a part of, because I AM that team I'm part of it and i wont deny it.
So! i guess you live & you fucking learn...

I now understand, better late than never?

"But I cannot do that to love When I got fight in these roses I still can't be scared I got stones in my pockets & i still cant be shared I keep you in my heart To make this all harder I will stay addicted to you" - Gin Wigmore

This ones for you..

I THINK i now understand what you meant, what you were trying to say, not that i didn't listen & not that i wasn't concerned i just simply couldn't understand, i actually refused to because your supposed to be the STRONGER one the advice giving one, but as i listen to this song it reminds me of only YOU and it says it all, ALL you've been fighting to make me understand and the pain you felt, the ache in your heart, something you felt but that you couldn't or should i or dare i say were not allowed to express freely and for that i am not sorry because you do not need my sympathy but my comfort is FREE 99 and always will be, as vulnerable as you are i still see you as the stronger one why? because you re already over it and like the song says

"I'm a stones throw from heartache Hear me crumbling, tumbling down Is it too late to lose faith In everything working out right We can say forget Or forgive But I cannot do that to love

& I'm glad you Will not do that to love, you must not loose faith <3

Continuation of " To your fullest potential"

Why is it that when i feel like Ive finally got a hold of you, you slip right through my fingers pass my identity and through my life lines, will i ever truly have you all too myself, for me to enjoy, for me to understand, convey and reanalyze you from top to bottom, i will conquer you and i will have you once and for all, this burning sensation i feel in my skull will never end because when it does... it will be the end of me, of my existence and my own unique species, because i am IRREPLACEABLE i choose to be different and there is no other being walking on this earth like me, no other who feels like i do, nor breaths, cries and lives as i do.Be my sun, my moon and my stars PLEASE L I F E i need you to return so i can live and understand, process & love better and more passionate than i have or will ever..

Anya Marina & Gin Wigmore

GIN WIGMORE

ANYA MARINA

"But oh, how I struggled in vain,to solve this riddle with my brain when the answer's in my hands."- Anya Marina
Quite frankly shes one of the few artist that have actually impressed me like Lykke Li i think it has to do with her voice it just calls me. Shes lovely =], now Gin Wigmore " Under my skin" i swear this song belongs on an iPod commercial its JUST RIGHT these are the type of songs i can listen to, to get away, to feel comfortable like i belong and I'm not trying too hard to fit in I'm just M E.

.. A few things scrambled in my head..
I can feel it like i have the answers in my hands but i still cant solve it, I'm still trying to figure out what i am going to do with myself.. trying to figure out why is life so complicated at times. i can feel the urge at my fingertips like its at the veryyy tip of my tongue, the strongest scent, its burning my sight and clogging my airways. I am thirsty for you, baffled, helpless and fearful for you, i reach and i reach and i try but i cant seem to grasp you, i cant seem to hold you steady and FIRM in my hands and feel like I've got you & you are M I N E. Life of mine what have you become and why is your coming so overdue? Come and influence me, drug me and use me to your fullest potential.. TO YOUR FULLEST POTENTIAL..