T W I L I G H T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooooooooo i haven't posted anything up on my OBSESSION and i have a little bit tooooo much to discuss!
So my fave addicting website is WTForks?! which is like -__O UNHEALTHY ADDICTING
i love itttt they keep me updated! lmao
But yeah.. im like extremely serious when i say that when the NEW MOON tickets are available for purchase you knowww imma be on it like white on rice.
& cuz im a feen i got the US WEEKLY special collectors edition TWILIGHT issue
MIND YOU i got the very last copy the hala hala guy had on his stinky news stand =D
Andddd just cuz my brother loves me soooo much he got me the BORDERS SPECIAL EDITION TWILIGHT DVD X__X ya its over!
Did i mention ive got all of the books already.. i mean im so 2000 & late! but don't judge me!
they're neatly stacked next to my bed in a safe and secure premises lmao
OH OH OH OH and did i mention niggas is gonna start filming ECLIPSE in august?!?!??!
some people say its too early to shout victory since NEW MOON hasn't even hit the big screen pero.. SO FUCKING WHAT! I MEAN OSEA HELLLOOO HAVE YOU SEEN THAT TRAILER?! JACOB SHIRTLESS, EVOLVING WOLF & MY MAIN MAN GETTING ALL SENTIMENTAL LEAVING BELLA AND SHIT.. AND not to mention all the fans reactions to the trailer on you tube.. YEAH NOVEMBER NEEDS TO HURRY THE FUCK UP... NEW MOON PLUS THANKSGIVING .. now u try and figure out why its my favorite month!

"look after my heart, i've left it with you"

ahhhh my dear
why cant me & you just disappear for a while
get away from this chaotic world and just be me & you ;)

things are so much smoother when i have you around

.. i wonder if when our relationship matures more later on in the future will my heart still flutter

when you kiss me .. definetly will, who am i kidding!?

i am 110% that i love you more than ketchup!

Sigh... the cheese to my mac <3>

2206

This is why...

This just happened a few seconds ago lmao
you be having me on the floor man DEADASS
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:25 PM): i thought my aim was broken
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:30 PM): i was like nobody is writing
Me (11:58:30 PM): wtf
Me (11:58:34 PM): lmaooo
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:42 PM): lol
Me (11:58:46 PM): im posting this up
ADDICTEDBEAUTii (11:58:51 PM): lmao

I need a map of life!

Soo... "I'm focused man
Tell Stout to holla at me man"
Righttt, not focused enough tho, ive realized that when i put things in order like say.. make a list i get things done faster.. idk call me korny lol.. but ne who like i said i need a map for life like SERIOUSLY AGHH everything seems so easy in my head but when i try putting those thoughts into actions .. ya se cago el plan lmao
my main focus for this summer is to at least attempt to loose some excess fat lmao 25 pounds to be exact -__-, i wanna go on a picnic.. take a plane to paris and sip on some french coffee =D mmm indulgence sounds so good... ok ok im pushing it now but a nice QUIET picnic would be great, not like the dramatic seen from my bizarre "b-day suprise" dont get me wrong not that i didnt like it lol things just got I F F Y. On a lighter note .. a list will be done STARTING ... NOW... GO!

YOUTH

EROSS
Ive been randomly looking at pictures of you & sorry for gettin all sentimental sounding like mom and shit but WTH!! why are growing up so quick, its like i blinked and there you were mamis height lol, preety soon your gonna start beating my ass up! you dont even stutter anymore lol & lets not mention the fact that you dont even need my help for your hw any more =/ SNIFF SNIFF HAYYYY MIJOOO! lol ok.. let me stop, i guess what im trying to say is .. im gonna miss my CHER SINGING,VOUGIN QUEENNNN little brother lmao!A faze i thought you would never grow out of! <3>

Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.

i think.. no scratch that I'm pretty damn sure i left all in all drama back in 04, back when i had nothing more than a adolescent mind set, didn't have anything to look forward to, so i figured hey lets start some shit, but really.. at this stage i cant really see myself in that predicament, and yet i cant believe shit like this is really happening AGAIN! I'm disappointed.. & confused not really surprised tho, Ive tried to see things from all angles all perspectives but i keep coming back short why is that? it sucks that it doesn't really matter any more tho because when you say "You and your T E A M " Ive already been forced into something i never wanted 2 be a part of, because I AM that team I'm part of it and i wont deny it.
So! i guess you live & you fucking learn...

I now understand, better late than never?

"But I cannot do that to love When I got fight in these roses I still can't be scared I got stones in my pockets & i still cant be shared I keep you in my heart To make this all harder I will stay addicted to you" - Gin Wigmore

This ones for you..

I THINK i now understand what you meant, what you were trying to say, not that i didn't listen & not that i wasn't concerned i just simply couldn't understand, i actually refused to because your supposed to be the STRONGER one the advice giving one, but as i listen to this song it reminds me of only YOU and it says it all, ALL you've been fighting to make me understand and the pain you felt, the ache in your heart, something you felt but that you couldn't or should i or dare i say were not allowed to express freely and for that i am not sorry because you do not need my sympathy but my comfort is FREE 99 and always will be, as vulnerable as you are i still see you as the stronger one why? because you re already over it and like the song says

"I'm a stones throw from heartache Hear me crumbling, tumbling down Is it too late to lose faith In everything working out right We can say forget Or forgive But I cannot do that to love

& I'm glad you Will not do that to love, you must not loose faith <3

Continuation of " To your fullest potential"

Why is it that when i feel like Ive finally got a hold of you, you slip right through my fingers pass my identity and through my life lines, will i ever truly have you all too myself, for me to enjoy, for me to understand, convey and reanalyze you from top to bottom, i will conquer you and i will have you once and for all, this burning sensation i feel in my skull will never end because when it does... it will be the end of me, of my existence and my own unique species, because i am IRREPLACEABLE i choose to be different and there is no other being walking on this earth like me, no other who feels like i do, nor breaths, cries and lives as i do.Be my sun, my moon and my stars PLEASE L I F E i need you to return so i can live and understand, process & love better and more passionate than i have or will ever..

Anya Marina & Gin Wigmore

GIN WIGMORE

ANYA MARINA

"But oh, how I struggled in vain,to solve this riddle with my brain when the answer's in my hands."- Anya Marina
Quite frankly shes one of the few artist that have actually impressed me like Lykke Li i think it has to do with her voice it just calls me. Shes lovely =], now Gin Wigmore " Under my skin" i swear this song belongs on an iPod commercial its JUST RIGHT these are the type of songs i can listen to, to get away, to feel comfortable like i belong and I'm not trying too hard to fit in I'm just M E.

.. A few things scrambled in my head..
I can feel it like i have the answers in my hands but i still cant solve it, I'm still trying to figure out what i am going to do with myself.. trying to figure out why is life so complicated at times. i can feel the urge at my fingertips like its at the veryyy tip of my tongue, the strongest scent, its burning my sight and clogging my airways. I am thirsty for you, baffled, helpless and fearful for you, i reach and i reach and i try but i cant seem to grasp you, i cant seem to hold you steady and FIRM in my hands and feel like I've got you & you are M I N E. Life of mine what have you become and why is your coming so overdue? Come and influence me, drug me and use me to your fullest potential.. TO YOUR FULLEST POTENTIAL..

Emily <3

OK so I'm a few days late with the post pero Whatever!!
So the other day "Tuesday" to be exact was a ceremony for my little sister Emily
I cant believe that your on your way to high school already.
The years need to seriously slow down because I'm seeing everybody grow up before my eyes.
I mean look at Eross for Christ sake! little brother Hes H U G E and toooo smart.
But neways Emily i wish nothing but the best and High school will be fucking great Why? Cuz you're a mothafucking
B A U T I S T A !!
<3

BLOWING MINES BLOWINE MINES

WTF WTF WTF?!! Yo dead ass on some " G " shit wth is up with people these days and by people i mean WOMAN in general, i saw the most disturbing thing today as i walked home from Tasha's house, this little boy falls off his scooter and crashes into a light pole... OK umm.. i was freaking out. So as i ran to him to make sure he wasn't dead hes just lying there helplessly crying i mean come on who would blame him he didn't look older than 5 and hes hurt, like this kid was gushing blood at this point. So I'm freaking the hell out and looking around for his mom or something when suddenly i see someone running down the hill.. his mom I'm guessing.. This is the good part.. this bitch is SO WASTED it was disgusting i mean literally LEANING, Soooo theres already a TON of ppl crowded around this child To make a long story short this parasite cuz i cant call her a mother, dead ass was like " OH he don't need no fucking hospital that's wtf he deserves" BITCHHH! HES BLEEDING! I decided not to waste my energy and walked away exasperated and in shock i saw people calling 911 so i bounced, MY POINT IS .. if you know you are not in the position or state of mind to take care of YOURSELF what the fuck makes you think that bringing another life to this world is something you re ready for .. DEAD ASS YO NO ENTIENDO! For w.e the reason is that you get pregnant don't have it if you re not gonna be serious about it ESPECIALLY if your number 1 priority is saving your " relationship" If you had to stoop that low to keep your " man" then it was never a real relationship at all.
UN MACHACHO NO AGUANTA A UN H O M B R E. IDGAF thats how i see shit,if anybody takes it upon themselves to get offended click the little red and white X at the top and get the fuck out.
i guess this wasn't such a short story after all lmao.

New & Improved

So! For starter's it was time i took off that fucking CORTA VENA music cuz JESUS it was blowing my dick.
& i need to stop mopping around and like dead ass get off my ass and improve my life whether its on MY OWN or in GOOD COMPANY ( good company is all i will accept no Exceptions)
So this just in i literally JUST GOT MY RUSH CARD IN THE MAIL and I'm sooo fucking excited 0_0!! Besides this flaming headache I'm like jumping out of my seat.
There are many many many MANY things and activities scheduled for this lovely summer mark this down in your calender JAHAIRA ( i refuse to call u jagie anymore -__O for many personal reasons) ANY WHO This indeed will be our fucking year, summer, season WHATEVER!

MONEY OVER EVERYTHING.