How long has it really been?

Ohhh my darling blog!! It has been too long indeed. Is it possible to have so much to say but then again not say much at all lol, I'm sooooo lazy that even though i say to myself "I'm going to post something today" i usually don't... idk..
A lot has happened over the past weeks..and if i wasn't so damn lazy then i would've posted all the pictures and etc.. but since i AM A LAZY ASS i don't think i will lol
Lets just say.. I'm some what pretending to be doing something i really am not doing, forced to grow up a little too quickly, have realized that i can count my true friends in one hand, too scared to be excited about shit that hasn't even happened ( but omg i hope it does lol ), admitting that i have relapsed and that my addiction to Robert Pattinson is getting WAYYY outta hand lol, oh and lately Ive been feeling the worst of the worst of feelings.. UNWANTED... maybe I'm being too hasty here.. but I'm too lazy to even think of a new word.. i might be wrong and a less depressing word can be used but at the end it all falls under that category.

I just wanna be ME

Is that so hard to ask? i feel like its becoming impossible. I'm in a place in time where every ones judgements count, every ones opinions are heard ( except for mine of course) every one can shout every one can point and every one can scream. but in the end what about ME? I'm not asking for a million dollars just for things to make more sense maybe? Jeez! i wanna be hugged when i need it, kissed when i want it .....
How does that saying go.. you live you learn and then you die .. well what ever's between the learning and the dying .. that's where you'll find me right smack in the middle..
Will things ever start to make sense and stuff will just stop happening because "that's how things are suppose to be" and happen because you plan for them to turn out that way..
now that i think about it that's pretty funny.. people spent months, years, seconds, minutes doesn't matter what length of time.. they still spend it on PLANNING .. me of course I'm guilty as charged .. I'm an over analyzer, its what i do .. as to why i do it i have no idea... ughhh
I'm having one of those i hate everything and everybody kinda days.. it'll pass... i give my bipolar ass about two minutes to get over it...........
:: TWO MINUTES LATER::
Guess not

Sep. 6, 2009

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